Week #3: Philia
Blog Series Intention Recap
This four-week series for February focuses on Love. Love makes up a major topic in the Bible, which is fitting because Christianity is a faith centered on love, and God Himself is love. As it says in 1 John 4:8, "Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." In the ancient world, there were many words for different kinds of love, and many of these are mentioned in the Bible. For Christians, four main types of love are significant: agapē (self-sacrificial love), storgē (family love), philia (friendship love), and eros (romantic love).
This post is part of the series “Loves: Defined in the Bible.” Click here to check out the other posts.
Let’s jump into Week #3:
Philia, the love of deep friendship, is essential for Christian growth. Life Transformation happens in relationships.
Why It Matters
Philia is the powerful emotional bond in deep friendships, distinct from familial love (storgē).
Jesus and His disciples, Paul and Timothy, and David and Jonathan illustrate philia.
Modern culture's transactional view of relationships and overemphasis on romantic love hinder true friendships.
Genuine philia encourages and supports spiritual growth, requiring selflessness and a change of heart.
Going Deeper:
Philia: The Love of Deep Friendship
Philia, one of the four types of love described in the Bible, represents the deep emotional bond found in friendships. Unlike storgē, which denotes familial affection, philia is about the strong connections we form with friends. This love is crucial for Christians, providing support, encouragement, and a sense of community as we grow in our faith. Life Transformation happens in relationships with the help of Philia.
Philia vs. Storgē
While both philia and storgē involve strong emotional bonds, they are distinct in their contexts. Storgē is the love found within families—between parents and children, siblings, and extended family members. Philia, on the other hand, is the love shared among friends. Jack Zavada explains, "Philia describes the powerful emotional bond seen in deep friendships.”
Biblical Examples of Philia
The Bible offers many examples of philia, showcasing the importance of deep friendships. Jesus' relationship with His disciples is a prime example. He shared His life, teachings, and love with them, building a strong bond of friendship. Paul and Timothy's relationship, as seen in Paul's letters to Timothy, also exemplifies philia. Paul mentored Timothy, guiding him in his faith and ministry. Another powerful example is the friendship between David and Jonathan in I Samuel. Their bond was so strong that they chose to support and protect each other even in the face of danger.
In the wider history of Christianity, we see examples of philia in the friendships between saints and faithful Christians. Notable pairs include Francis de Sales and Jane de Chantal, John of the Cross and Teresa of Ávila, and more recently, J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis. These friendships were marked by mutual respect, encouragement, and a shared journey of faith.
Challenges to Philia in Modern Culture
In today's world, forming deep, meaningful friendships can be challenging. Modern culture often views relationships through a transactional lens, asking, "How can I benefit from this relationship?" This pragmatic approach undermines the selfless nature of true friendship. Additionally, there is a significant emphasis on romantic love in our society. Friends with benefits has become a situation that clouds friendships. Many people believe that all close relationships should turn romantic, and if there's no potential for romance, the friendship is often deprioritized.
Constance T. Hull highlights these issues, noting, "The problem with friendship in our culture is twofold. First, we allow our friendships to take on too utilitarian of a nature. Second, we have placed an inordinate emphasis on eros, or romantic love" . This cultural mindset can prevent us from experiencing the depth and richness of philia.
Benefits of Genuine Philia
Pursuing genuine philia has numerous benefits for individuals and the community. In Ephesians 5:18-19, Paul exhorts believers to encourage one another through the Holy Spirit. In Galatians 6:1, he urges them to be a source of strength for friends striving to leave sin behind. The writer of Hebrews also emphasizes the importance of exhorting one another, lifting each other up out of sin, and encouraging good works (Hebrews 3:13; 10:24).
Furthermore, friends act as intercessors, praying for us during challenges and celebrations (James 5:16). Kelly Needham explains, "Friends pray for us, acting as intercessors and praying partners for all challenges and celebrations" . These benefits highlight the importance of cultivating deep, meaningful friendships within the Christian community.
Practicing Philia
To experience philia, we must change our hearts and actively practice it. Relationships require mutual effort; we cannot expect to receive what we are not willing to give. Hull emphasizes, "We cannot give to people what we do not ourselves possess. This means that we must be ardently striving to lead lives of holiness through prayer, self-sacrifice, Scripture, and working to faithfully live out our individual vocations" . Genuine philia comes from selfless love, modeled by Christ's sacrifice on the Cross.
Philia in Popular Culture
Popular culture also provides examples of deep friendships that embody philia. In "The Lord of the Rings," the friendship between Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee is a powerful depiction of philia. Sam remains faithful to Frodo throughout their perilous journey, encouraging and supporting him even when Frodo falters. Similarly, Leslie Knope from "Parks and Recreation" exemplifies a devoted and committed friend, always willing to go above and beyond for her friends .
How does this help me understand, “Loves?”
Philia, the love of deep friendship, is essential for life transformation. By understanding its importance and actively seeking to practice it, we can build strong, supportive relationships that encourage us in our journey to become more life Jesus. As we cultivate these friendships, we reflect the love of Christ and strengthen the bonds within our Christian community.
